theaceoffours:

shrill-ex:

most of the lights are out in my kitchen so there’s a spotlight on my fridge

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BE…

OUR…

GUEST

(via slomps)

  • 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
  • 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
  • 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?

huntymon:

robably:

walking to the toilet after he nuts inside you

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delete this

(via slomps)

voldemo:

voldemo:

I DROPPED MY CUP OF TEA AND IT WENT EVERYWHERE OH GOD I CAN HEAR THE QUEEN COMING TO MY HOUSE TO DEPORT ME FROM ENGLAND ALREADY

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(via slomps)

sclez:

sweetbuttandhellabooty:

can we just take a moment and think about the time my dad accidentally made a fried egg that looked exactly like africa

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i’m the most impressed by the fact the egg also has madagascar

madeggascar

(Source: chimichangass, via slomps)

fvming:

"You don’t have many followers"

Jesus only had 12

(via slomps)